Hi. Not sure if this is intended for anyone but future me to read, but this is a production diary.
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Before talking about the actual production, I should note the context it's starting in - as in my personal world!
So I'm unemployed and living in Asheville, surviving on savings. Emily and I had our son Arthur exactly four months ago today, and I'm only now thinking about anything other than him.
Having Arthur put an end to the original career plan, which was to do freelance in NYC a quarter of the year which would be enough to make it in Asheville. Now as a dad that's out. So I've spent quite a long time trying to see what other options are possible other than the late shift at Arby's.
Emily and I have settled on me being the full time parent since she has a steady career at the moment. That will definitely be my primary "career" until Arthur starts school. Not much work will lend itself to that schedule, so it has to be something I do by myself on my own schedule.
And so, after a million other plans, I'm going to do a narrative animation. We'll see if, when, and where it makes any money, although I'm hopeful considering the lack of other opportunities. I think it will find an audience somehow. If nothing else I think it will lead to other work down the line...
I guess this (6/11/14) is as good a date as any to set as the start date, although the ideas and preparations have been kicking around for a few weeks...
This is going to be a Christmas special. I think it will be called "No Christmas for Ned".
Or maybe it's an anti-Christmas special. Not really anti- Christmas but anti- "Christmas special". Or maybe just a spoof. But heartfelt and really dealing honestly with alienation and being "different".
The plan is to do it pretty much solo, although probably getting some voice artists and other sound folks later on.
It will be a musical with songs I write.
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The audience is basically kids and families that don't celebrate Christmas (as well as people who sympathize with them) and how they feel during the season.
It centers on Ned, who is implied to be from an atheist family. But the special should be as universal as possible and NOT political or preachy. (!)
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Right now the whole thing is just a bunch of sketched out concepts in a mental shoe box. Here's what exists so far!
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The "script":
2 min - song "every year"
3.5 min - kids tease ned
2 min - song "poor ned"
3.5 min - ned asks parents
1 min - song "the question!(ask us later)"
3.5 min - asks mall santa why he ignores him
2 min - song "you must be bad"
1 min - walking home
1 min - song "every year" slower, sadder
3.5 min - meets other kids
2 min - song "the season for the reason"
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ideas:
VERY goofy movement
reason for not celebrating xmas is never explicitly explained
ned is emo/goth?
ned is charlie brown-like but not too depressing.
whole story is on a single "set" that corkscrews up a mountain. starts low ends high.
there is a constant snowball fight throughout - snowballs hitting things in the background and also narrowly missing Ned constantly.
whole show one camera shot?
set is cheesy cliche xmas stuff like little victorian house decorations and snow globes.
very shallow depth of field like a toy world.
early scene of kids in classroom trading absurd amount of gifts while ned gets none. they get passed right in front of his face. one of the kids hands out ferrets from his family breeding farm. They all have ridiculous bows on their heads.
teacher is spazzed about xmas and wears all xmas clothes, hats, etc...
teacher sings a pity song to ned in class while kids mock him behind her back...
teacher asks all other students to give ned one of their gifts and they all give him their ferrets. From then on he's followed by a herd of ferrets...
vehicles get ambushed with snowball barrages
end scene starts ominously with other outcasts in silhouettes
ferret sings or talks at the end with no warning
voices will be actual kids like Peanuts
kids are about 8
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
6/11/2014 Learning
So what's been happening up to this point?
Not too much yet. Right now I'm really getting my nose to the grindstone re-learning a lot of Maya. I'm doing my best to stop being an animation specialist and truly becoming a generalist. A lot has changed in the years since I first learned anything other than animation. So before I really get going on NCFN I have to get back up to speed on modeling, rigging, lighting, rendering, texturing (or whatever it's called now!) dynamics, and effects.
The other thing to learn is how much to learn! In other words, learning enough to get things done but not trying to become and expert at all of it.
It's a colossal undertaking but I'm pretty excited about it. I'm currently going through rigging tutorials. So far to go!
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
6/15/2014 Father's Day!
My first father's day!
Recent progress: continuing through rigging tutorials and learning a lot, including stuff about scripting which I'd really like to dive deeper into...
Mining Pinterest for character design inspiration. Not easy to find things I like but that's good, I guess. It shows that I'm discerning? Hard to find kid designs that are not either cloying Disney/Pixar fanboy drivel or Tim Burton wannabes. Plus the anime influence. Does every character have to look like a desperate puppy? Not Ned!
All the tutorials are going to take weeks, and design probably just as long. I'm hoping to start sketching soon, though. Not sure how much early embarrassing stuff I'll post... I dread showing anything but also want to document it for better or worse...
Recent progress: continuing through rigging tutorials and learning a lot, including stuff about scripting which I'd really like to dive deeper into...
Mining Pinterest for character design inspiration. Not easy to find things I like but that's good, I guess. It shows that I'm discerning? Hard to find kid designs that are not either cloying Disney/Pixar fanboy drivel or Tim Burton wannabes. Plus the anime influence. Does every character have to look like a desperate puppy? Not Ned!
All the tutorials are going to take weeks, and design probably just as long. I'm hoping to start sketching soon, though. Not sure how much early embarrassing stuff I'll post... I dread showing anything but also want to document it for better or worse...
Monday, June 9, 2014
6/19/2014 Very Pinteresting
Still going through the epic rigging tutorial videos. Damn there's a lot to a good rig. The special will have very few rigs used over and over.
Mining Pinterest for kid character design references - finding some good ones...
Also collecting a HUGE amount of set ideas. Basically the whole town is going to be those porcelain lit-up Xmas houses.
I'm thinking that the sets should be WAY over the top with decorations. The town should look like the most gaudy holiday theme park possible. Lots of those inflatable things in all the yards. Ned's house will be the only one that doesn't look insane.
I also want to record Arthur's babbling and have Ned come across a baby trying to communicate with him. It might be a recurring thing.
Mining Pinterest for kid character design references - finding some good ones...
Also collecting a HUGE amount of set ideas. Basically the whole town is going to be those porcelain lit-up Xmas houses.
I'm thinking that the sets should be WAY over the top with decorations. The town should look like the most gaudy holiday theme park possible. Lots of those inflatable things in all the yards. Ned's house will be the only one that doesn't look insane.
I also want to record Arthur's babbling and have Ned come across a baby trying to communicate with him. It might be a recurring thing.
6/20/2014 Ideas
Two kids in the classroom gift exchange give each other $20 gift cards from the local toy shop. They both react like it's the perfect gift and hug. The camera flies at warp speed to the shop register where the owner gives a double thumbs up to the camera (chaching sound and $40 readout on register) and then it flies back to the hug.
The hook line for the "Every Year" song will say "Every year I'm left out in the cold." At the end when he meets the other outcasts, the reveal is that Ned is singing the song slowly and before he can say "cold" the others sing it in a rising harmonic chord one at a time.
At the end, the Xmas kids come as a group to invite Ned to an Xmas party but he says no thanks and goes with the outcasts to get Indian food at one of their families' restaurants. The Xmas kids' invitation is totally insincere and they even say that their parents forced them to do it or else Santa would only give them grocery store gift cards. Quick cut to the mean Santa saying "Harsh."
Maybe the closing song is "Indian Food" talking about how it's good for Christmas. Maybe the mean Santa is eating there when the kids arrive.
The hook line for the "Every Year" song will say "Every year I'm left out in the cold." At the end when he meets the other outcasts, the reveal is that Ned is singing the song slowly and before he can say "cold" the others sing it in a rising harmonic chord one at a time.
At the end, the Xmas kids come as a group to invite Ned to an Xmas party but he says no thanks and goes with the outcasts to get Indian food at one of their families' restaurants. The Xmas kids' invitation is totally insincere and they even say that their parents forced them to do it or else Santa would only give them grocery store gift cards. Quick cut to the mean Santa saying "Harsh."
Maybe the closing song is "Indian Food" talking about how it's good for Christmas. Maybe the mean Santa is eating there when the kids arrive.
Sunday, June 8, 2014
6/23/2014 Ideas
Santa has a thick accent and a black beard. Ned asks about it and the Santa gets bent out of shape saying that Americans are suckers for Hollywood misleading them about Santa's origins.
The outcast kids all wear gray like a gang and have ski masks and seem like they're after Ned to cause him harm until the end. They whisper "Ned" and approach him and he runs away.
The outcast kids all wear gray like a gang and have ski masks and seem like they're after Ned to cause him harm until the end. They whisper "Ned" and approach him and he runs away.
Saturday, June 7, 2014
6/25/2014 Ideas
Ned rescues a younger kid from a mob of other younger kids at the beginning. They've been doing some Xmas-themed bullying, wrapping him in lights, poking him with oversized candy canes.
The kids are exaggeratedly tiny compared to Ned.
After Ned releases the victim, they sing a song to Ned with the lyrics:
Don't blame us - we don't know any better - we're too young to know right and wrong...
When we're alone we feel weak and tiny. When we're together we're tough and strong..
The last notes of the kids' song are the rising tones of Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D minor. But it doesn't resolve into the last chord. They don't stop singing the notes the whole time they chase Ned to the school. Their voices shake with the impact of their running. ("Str-oOoOoOoOoOoNnNnNg")
The kid Ned releases turns out to be the Indian kid at the end - the leader of the grays.
The kids are exaggeratedly tiny compared to Ned.
After Ned releases the victim, they sing a song to Ned with the lyrics:
Don't blame us - we don't know any better - we're too young to know right and wrong...
When we're alone we feel weak and tiny. When we're together we're tough and strong..
The last notes of the kids' song are the rising tones of Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D minor. But it doesn't resolve into the last chord. They don't stop singing the notes the whole time they chase Ned to the school. Their voices shake with the impact of their running. ("Str-oOoOoOoOoOoNnNnNg")
The kid Ned releases turns out to be the Indian kid at the end - the leader of the grays.
Friday, June 6, 2014
6/30/2014 Ideas
Held up by my parents visiting.
Have to finish my HTML and Java classes this week.
Now jury duty tomorrow!
Still going through the very helpful but very long rigging tutorials.
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Ideas:
Teacher compels (using grades) Ned to censor the class singing "Silent Night" by using an air horn when a religious lyric comes up.
Teacher has a sweater with a "telephone pole" on it. (NOT a CROSS!)
Teacher calls Ned "a diversity".
When the songs are playing, they all have the usual jingle bells. But every time, people can be seen actually stopping in place and jingling the bells.
There is always a blizzard going on so nothing can be seen beyond the houses and row of trees.
Cameras should have a very shallow depth of field.
I think I've decided against having Ned's parents in it at all.
The whole town is on one street going up/down a mountain.
The whole story should start at Ned's house on top of the mountain, travel down almost to the school at the bottom of the mountain during the first song, then travel back up the mountain until the end at the restaurant.
Have to finish my HTML and Java classes this week.
Now jury duty tomorrow!
Still going through the very helpful but very long rigging tutorials.
...
Ideas:
Teacher compels (using grades) Ned to censor the class singing "Silent Night" by using an air horn when a religious lyric comes up.
Teacher has a sweater with a "telephone pole" on it. (NOT a CROSS!)
Teacher calls Ned "a diversity".
When the songs are playing, they all have the usual jingle bells. But every time, people can be seen actually stopping in place and jingling the bells.
There is always a blizzard going on so nothing can be seen beyond the houses and row of trees.
Cameras should have a very shallow depth of field.
I think I've decided against having Ned's parents in it at all.
The whole town is on one street going up/down a mountain.
The whole story should start at Ned's house on top of the mountain, travel down almost to the school at the bottom of the mountain during the first song, then travel back up the mountain until the end at the restaurant.
Thursday, June 5, 2014
7/3/2014 Thoughts
Took a day of sitting through a full day of juror selection, but I dodged having to do a trial!
Still finishing up with my classes though.
Meanwhile,
I had second thoughts about the teacher being overtly Christian. I don't want to get into bashing anyone and try to keep the tone silly and light.
I still definitely want to do the air horn, though!
Speaking of silly, I think I'll have people continuously sliding on ice and doing pratfalls, including sliding helplessly down the steep sidewalks and knocking others over.
I'm thinking that maybe I could do all the voices myself a la South Park (most) or Fat Albert.
Still finishing up with my classes though.
Meanwhile,
I had second thoughts about the teacher being overtly Christian. I don't want to get into bashing anyone and try to keep the tone silly and light.
I still definitely want to do the air horn, though!
Speaking of silly, I think I'll have people continuously sliding on ice and doing pratfalls, including sliding helplessly down the steep sidewalks and knocking others over.
I'm thinking that maybe I could do all the voices myself a la South Park (most) or Fat Albert.
7/7/2014 Rig-tastic!
Wow! Found a really good auto rig plugin online. No more watching rig tutorials (for now). This will save me a massive amount of time! Hopefully it will work as advertised. If it does, it more than suits my needs.
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Also found a really great set of animation tools - pose library setups, etc. Very awesome.
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Next up probably modeling tutorials.
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Just about done with classes - just need to take the final tests this week.
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Also found a really great set of animation tools - pose library setups, etc. Very awesome.
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Next up probably modeling tutorials.
...
Just about done with classes - just need to take the final tests this week.
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
7/12/2014 Slowing Down?
So things might slow down a bit - even slower than the snail's pace I've been on! Classes are done - I passed - but priorities are shifting a little.
I'm still doing tutorials - modeling now - and I counted up all the ones that I want to do before I start doing real work, and it works out to about 65 hours of stuff to watch. That's what I'm going to hold myself to.
Before really moving forward on Ned, though, I'm going to do a set of animations to upload to stock animation sites and see how that goes. Hopefully generate some income! I project about a month of that.
So 3 to 4 weeks of tutorials, then probably 4 weeks of stock animation, then really getting a solid start on Ned. Add in a little over a week of traveling.
But I will be loosely doing pre-production in the meantime. Continuing to come up with ideas, thinking about designs, song ideas, the script, etc... Not much CG stuff but important steps forward.
It sucks to put things in front of Ned, but it has to be...
I'm still doing tutorials - modeling now - and I counted up all the ones that I want to do before I start doing real work, and it works out to about 65 hours of stuff to watch. That's what I'm going to hold myself to.
Before really moving forward on Ned, though, I'm going to do a set of animations to upload to stock animation sites and see how that goes. Hopefully generate some income! I project about a month of that.
So 3 to 4 weeks of tutorials, then probably 4 weeks of stock animation, then really getting a solid start on Ned. Add in a little over a week of traveling.
But I will be loosely doing pre-production in the meantime. Continuing to come up with ideas, thinking about designs, song ideas, the script, etc... Not much CG stuff but important steps forward.
It sucks to put things in front of Ned, but it has to be...
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
7/15/2014 Sweaters
Everyone in Ned's town will have insanely tacky Xmas sweaters.
I thought maybe the teacher might play an instrument during Silent Night, but I'm not sure. Maybe a really loud bass? Pencils could vibrate off the desks...
Thinking maybe everyone should have noodle arms... 30's motifs (updated) like visible exclamation marks, etc...
I thought maybe the teacher might play an instrument during Silent Night, but I'm not sure. Maybe a really loud bass? Pencils could vibrate off the desks...
Thinking maybe everyone should have noodle arms... 30's motifs (updated) like visible exclamation marks, etc...
Monday, June 2, 2014
7/28/2014 Background noise / the look
Idea:
There is a constant background of overlapping Xmas carols coming from stores, cars, etc.
What to do about realism vs stylized?!?!?!
Great idea from Emily: take examples of CG character surfaces and experiment in PShop...
Definitely not going for super-realism, but also not hyperreal simulations of things like wood, cloth, clay, etc.
Try to "mess up" the perspective and lighting (including shadows) if going non-real. Not exactly orthographic but something along those lines. Lighting individual surfaces with translucence instead of using lights? Or each thing having its own light? Hmm...
There is a constant background of overlapping Xmas carols coming from stores, cars, etc.
What to do about realism vs stylized?!?!?!
Great idea from Emily: take examples of CG character surfaces and experiment in PShop...
Definitely not going for super-realism, but also not hyperreal simulations of things like wood, cloth, clay, etc.
Try to "mess up" the perspective and lighting (including shadows) if going non-real. Not exactly orthographic but something along those lines. Lighting individual surfaces with translucence instead of using lights? Or each thing having its own light? Hmm...
7/30/2014 Classroom ideas
More ideas for classroom scene:
- Every time Ned blows the air horn, the kids jump and get nervous - pants wetting suggested...
- Kids get increasingly angry with Ned...
- They sing "Silent Night" extremely quietly, contrasting with the loud air horn...
- Ned blows horn for "virgin". Teacher corrects him saying, "Very good, Ned, but you didn't need to censor the word "V- *BWAAAAAHHH*. Everyone in this ROOM is a v- *BWAAAAHHH* and it has almost nothing to do with religion!"
- For "Completely Diverse Present Time", that one kid hands out mice from his father's pet store. They all have reindeer horns and are in snow globes....
- Ned complains that he didn't receive any presents. The teacher says, "Of course not, Ned! You're a diversity and it's against the law to offend you!" Ned stares angrily and the teacher relents and instructs all the students to give him one present. They all give him a mouse...
- As students leave the classroom, Ned has no mice but we see a snake in the foreground shaking his tail. Instead of rattles he has jingle bells strapped to his tail.
Sunday, June 1, 2014
7/31/2014 Mice and Ice
- The mice handed out as gifts are actually dog paddling in the snow globes.
- Ned says hi to the snake at the very start.
- Rather than people shaking jingle bells for every song, possibly have anthropomorphic jingle bells walk into the scene. This means really committing to anthropomorphisizing (?) everything!
- When Ned confronts the little kid gang, he throws a giant snowball in the air, then a smaller one, which breaks the big one into little ones (like one of those missiles that breaks apart in the air). Each snowball is a direct hit on one kid, and chimes play notes to a carol on each hit. (Maybe "Oh Little Town of Bethlehem").
- Maybe the kids don't have their own song, just sing the Bach canon with lyrics like: "Better run.... you have made us annn-gry..... Better hiiiiide.... we're after youuuuuu.... Heee-eeer we cooooooooommmmmeeeee...."
- We get a closeup of the Indian kis waving thanks to Ned.
Saturday, May 31, 2014
8/9/2014 Yellow fellow
Control the palette!
As much as I want everything to be hyper-gaudy, this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kQllLy_X4I&list=PLV2X3tgajVlFROS5fuIVKLGs78_fC4JTN re-inspired me to go with a more purposeful set of color choices.
With that in mind, I think I want to restrict all colors to reds, greens, and very desaturated blues.
Except that Ned and the Indian kid will have yellow and purple.
In the Indian restaurant, everything will be warm colors.
I'm thinking that maybe Ned will be very vaguely Asian. I really want to avoid race, but color-wise I think it might be good to separate Ned subtly. So the other kids who are not black will have redder skin tones. Especially on the nose and cheeks from the cold.
I'm back to thinking that I want to go the Peanuts route with the voices again. Very young kids.
As much as I want everything to be hyper-gaudy, this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kQllLy_X4I&list=PLV2X3tgajVlFROS5fuIVKLGs78_fC4JTN re-inspired me to go with a more purposeful set of color choices.
With that in mind, I think I want to restrict all colors to reds, greens, and very desaturated blues.
Except that Ned and the Indian kid will have yellow and purple.
In the Indian restaurant, everything will be warm colors.
I'm thinking that maybe Ned will be very vaguely Asian. I really want to avoid race, but color-wise I think it might be good to separate Ned subtly. So the other kids who are not black will have redder skin tones. Especially on the nose and cheeks from the cold.
I'm back to thinking that I want to go the Peanuts route with the voices again. Very young kids.
9/2/2014 Been a long lonely lonely lonely lonely time...
After parents' visits, Labor Day travels, and Emily going back to work full time, I haven't had a lot of time for Ned, but I have continued to watch lots of tutorials. Really soon I have to quit that and get down to actual work. I've got a decent map forward with all the new Maya tech, although I came close to taking a wrong turn with global illumination. I learned a lot about it before anyone mentioned that it looks amazing as a still but flickers like crazy when animated. So learning stuff is still saving me time in the long run.
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A couple ideas:
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The "antagonist" will be a girl that Ned worships. She will always appear as an angel - floating with heavenly light around her. She'll press Ned about why he won't just go along with everyone else and celebrate. She'll be the one to invite him over for dinner and he'll choose to remain honest and go with his new friends.
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There should be linking animations of completely surreal xmas themed behavior set to music to connect scenes. Think M. Python Gilliam animations.
...
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A couple ideas:
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The "antagonist" will be a girl that Ned worships. She will always appear as an angel - floating with heavenly light around her. She'll press Ned about why he won't just go along with everyone else and celebrate. She'll be the one to invite him over for dinner and he'll choose to remain honest and go with his new friends.
...
There should be linking animations of completely surreal xmas themed behavior set to music to connect scenes. Think M. Python Gilliam animations.
...
Friday, May 30, 2014
9/19/2014 Skinny Santa
The Santa that Ned meets is the owner of a car stereo store. He has a southern drawl. When Ned points that out, he claims that he moved to the south pole a while back because of global warming.
He tries to convince Ned to have his parents buy a car stereo for him for Christmas.
He's really skinny with a printed Santa outfit-type t shirt and pants that are red but only sort of match.
He says "Ho, Ho", leaving off the third ho.
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The "antagonist" is a girl that Ned is infatuated with. She floats and is surrounded by a heavenly glow. She tries to convince Ned to celebrate Christmas and if he does then he can come to her party.
Ned is conflicted and says he has to think about it.
At the climax she asks for his decision and presents him with the same sweater that everyone else is wearing. (Ned has been wearing a sweater that is not Christmas related and purple/yellow instead of red/green. Picture is a dinosaur with a caption saying Rarr!")
The "misfits" walk off sadly when it seems that Ned will go with her. He looks at the tag and says "It's not my size!" He decides to run after the "misfits" and her glow shorts out like a bad bulb and she floats to the ground.
He tries to convince Ned to have his parents buy a car stereo for him for Christmas.
He's really skinny with a printed Santa outfit-type t shirt and pants that are red but only sort of match.
He says "Ho, Ho", leaving off the third ho.
...
The "antagonist" is a girl that Ned is infatuated with. She floats and is surrounded by a heavenly glow. She tries to convince Ned to celebrate Christmas and if he does then he can come to her party.
Ned is conflicted and says he has to think about it.
At the climax she asks for his decision and presents him with the same sweater that everyone else is wearing. (Ned has been wearing a sweater that is not Christmas related and purple/yellow instead of red/green. Picture is a dinosaur with a caption saying Rarr!")
The "misfits" walk off sadly when it seems that Ned will go with her. He looks at the tag and says "It's not my size!" He decides to run after the "misfits" and her glow shorts out like a bad bulb and she floats to the ground.
Thursday, May 29, 2014
9/21/2014 Reindeer Sighting
There could be a narrator like in Rankin Bass specials (like the snowman in Rudolph). It might be a (relatively) realistic reindeer playing guitar. Characters will treat it exactly like people would in reality: "Holy crap did I just see a reindeer playing a guitar?" People would follow it around recording with their phones.
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In the classroom scene all the kids will have torrents of snot all over. Keep it somewhat subtle but unmistakable. Lots of sneezing and nose blowing. Kids raise hands to answer questions and have boogers on fingers...
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In the classroom scene all the kids will have torrents of snot all over. Keep it somewhat subtle but unmistakable. Lots of sneezing and nose blowing. Kids raise hands to answer questions and have boogers on fingers...
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
10/24/2014 Script First Draft!
So it's been a month, but I haven't been idle. I finished a rough draft of the script and - while it's got a way to go - I'm pretty happy with it even now.
It's amazing how many things change as I'm writing - tone, character personalities, motivations, etc. - all of it is still evolving after this first pass. It's exciting to see it continue to develop.
One frustration is that I have no idea of how long the thing would be as written. It seemed like it would run over the 25 minute mark, so I cut out the gift giving part in the classroom, which was a little disappointing. I could be wrong about the run time, so maybe it will come back. Honestly, though, it had no real impact on the story once removed, so maybe not. I just liked the idea of the drowning mice.
I'm going to post images of the pages that I wrote in long hand because it will be interesting (to me, anyway) to see all the edits and such. From this point on I'll probably type it and not do it by hand. I'll have to remember to preserve edits later on so the history of the writing will be visible.
Other than that, I do have an actually paying gig coming up, so once again I might put Ned on the back burner for a month or so. We'll see.
It's amazing how many things change as I'm writing - tone, character personalities, motivations, etc. - all of it is still evolving after this first pass. It's exciting to see it continue to develop.
One frustration is that I have no idea of how long the thing would be as written. It seemed like it would run over the 25 minute mark, so I cut out the gift giving part in the classroom, which was a little disappointing. I could be wrong about the run time, so maybe it will come back. Honestly, though, it had no real impact on the story once removed, so maybe not. I just liked the idea of the drowning mice.
I'm going to post images of the pages that I wrote in long hand because it will be interesting (to me, anyway) to see all the edits and such. From this point on I'll probably type it and not do it by hand. I'll have to remember to preserve edits later on so the history of the writing will be visible.
Other than that, I do have an actually paying gig coming up, so once again I might put Ned on the back burner for a month or so. We'll see.
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
11/2/2014 Script Version Two
Well, my intention was just to type up the first version of the script exactly as is, so that I could more easily edit it and create a version 2. But I just couldn't help editing as I went, so there won't be a typed version 1 (the one written longhand.)
It took WAY longer than I thought it would. I started just after the last post. Again, rather than just transcribing I did a lot of thinking. I made some significant changes but the main story is still intact. I mostly changed dialog and made different choices for some preliminary camera angles. One change that's sort of big and that I like a lot is that Ned will look into people's windows - once per "act" - and see - on the TV that the kids are watching - a moment of alienation that's pretty obviously lifted from classic Christmas specials. Before this the idea was to show some family moment that Ned is missing out on and that falls apart as soon as Ned stops looking.
Here's the second version of the script!
It took WAY longer than I thought it would. I started just after the last post. Again, rather than just transcribing I did a lot of thinking. I made some significant changes but the main story is still intact. I mostly changed dialog and made different choices for some preliminary camera angles. One change that's sort of big and that I like a lot is that Ned will look into people's windows - once per "act" - and see - on the TV that the kids are watching - a moment of alienation that's pretty obviously lifted from classic Christmas specials. Before this the idea was to show some family moment that Ned is missing out on and that falls apart as soon as Ned stops looking.
Here's the second version of the script!
“No
Christmas for Ned”
Version
2
copyright
2014 Mike Gargiulo
Scene 1
Establishing
Shot
A
blizzard on a street like the crazy hills in San Francisco. Three
houses are shown – Ned's family's in the middle. Ned's is modern
looking (F. L. Wright) and not at all decorated. The two surrounding
houses look like the little Christmas Town buildings bought at
Hallmark stores. Decorations in the front of the houses play
competing tinny carols and create a cacophony. Others can be heard
off screen. Passing cars also have Christmas songs on their radios.
A
song starts playing as Ned appears – pretty much spelling out the
setting and Ned – about how he's the only one in town who doesn't
celebrate Christmas.
Ned
emerges from his house and starts walking down the hill.
Camera
Trucks with Ned.
Every
house and store Ned passes is absurdly over decorated. Each one plays
its own carol. Ned walks along for the length of the song until he
sees something and stops in his tracks.
OS
Ned
Across
the street, a group of 8 kids surrounds another one who wears a
turban, poking him with oversized candy canes and laughing.
CU
Ned
Ned:
Hey! What are you guys doing to that kid? Leave him alone!
5
Shot of Some of Kid Group and Victim
The
kids stop and look. Their victim peers over their shoulder looking
desperate for help.
Kid
1 gives a dismissive wave.
Kid
1: Aaah go deck your halls!
The
bullying continues.
Behind
Ned
With
the bullying continuing in the background, Ned makes a huge snowball
and heaves it toward the group.
He
quickly makes another small one and hits the first one just as it's
over the group.
The
larger snowball breaks into 8.
Each
bully is knocked out with the 8 snowballs.
Each
hit is accompanied by a detuned note of “Deck the Halls”.
Full
Victim
Victim
is amazed and overjoyed. He waves at Ned.
Victim:
Thank you! Thanks!
The
bullies start to recover and he runs off.
CU
Ned
Ned
smiles and waves. Then gets worried.
OS
Ned
The
bullies have gotten up and are crossing the street. They make the
“eeeEEEeee” sound from 2001.
Camera
Trucks Behind Bullies
Camera
and Bullies approach Ned, who has taken a defensive stance. The
bullies stop. Camera rotates to the front of Kid 1, who points
zombie-like at Ned.
Kid
1: SEIZE HIM.
CU
Ned
Ned
snaps into panic and runs off screen.
Wide
- Street
Ned
and bullies begin a frantic chase. But they all pretty much just slip
in place, periodically falling. Camera trucks with them as they
eventually reach the entrance to the School. (Labeled “Slipperyville
Elementary”)
School
Entrance
Ned
slips his way up the stairs to the school door. Just before camera
cut the bullies reach the bottom stair.
Full
Behind Ned
Ned
runs up to a device on the wall marked “STOP – all students –
retina scan check point”
ECU
Ned's Eye at Scanner
The
scanner probes Ned's eye.
Full
Behind Ned
Readout
says “PASS”
Door
opens.
Ned
bolts through.
Door
slams shut.
Bullies
rush up to scanner and pause.
Alarms
sound and readout says “HOME SCHOOL INTRUDER” flashing.
A
portcullis slams down.
Full
Behind Ned
Ned
runs past camera and into a full shot then turns and looks back.
Bullies
Behind Gate
Kid
1 shakes gate.
Kid
1: This has only.
Jump
Cut Closer
Kid
1: Just.
Jump
Cut Closer
Kid
1: Begun.
Full
Ned
Ned
turns and walks swiftly away.
Cross
Fade
Scene
2
Cross
Fade to Establishing Shot Classroom
Ned
walks swiftly into room and goes to the coat rack.
Closeup
Coat Rack
Ned's
hand hangs up his yellow/purple hat next to all the red/green ones.
Behind
Desk
Ned
walks up to his desk (in the center of the room) and sits.
Full
of Teacher – Mr. Fork
Mr.
Fork stands at the front of the room with his eyes shut tight. The
bell rings and he comes to life like a robot switched on. His
expression pops open to a “HEY KIDS!” over-enthusiasm. He looks
at the ceiling.
Mr.
Fork: Morning all you spe-e-e-e-ecial kid-DEEZ!! (looks toward
door and pauses – becomes a little more serious.) Ah. Just in
time miss Sue.
CU
Ned
Ned
becomes electrified. Mr. Forks' “Sue” repeats over and
over.
OS
Ned
Sue
levitates into the room in slow motion, surrounded w/ a heavenly
glow. Her eyes shoot out energy beams, scanning the room. Angel
sounds start, building gradually.
CU
Ned
A
still like in 2001 of Ned enraptured
POV
Ned
Sue's
eye beams come closer to Ned (camera)
CU
Ned
A
still of Ned enraptured X2
POV
Ned
Sue's
eye beams come closer to Ned (camera)
CU
Ned
A
still of Ned enraptured X3
POV
Ned
Sue's
eye beams look directly at Ned (camera)
Full
Profile Ned
Ned
is engulfed in Sue's eye beams; he starts the shot leaning forward
and is blown backwards like in a wind tunnel like the Memorex
commercials. Daisies sprout from his skin and are blown away, leaving
nothing.
After
a long pause...
Sue:
Ned? Ned?
Full
Ned
Ned
snaps awake. He rubs his eyes and looks around groggily, then does a
take in shock.
Smash
Zoom Out
Ned
looks around in disbelief – everyone in the room has become Sue and
continues saying “Ned? Ned?”
Full
Ned
In
reality, Ned is being poked with a giant candy cane by Mr. Fork,
saying “Ned. Ned.”
Ned
snaps awake and looks around in confusion, then quickly up to Mr.
Fork.
POV
Ned
Mr.
Fork lowers the candy cane.
Mr.
Fork: Ned. How many times have I told you about swooning during
class time? Are you contagious?
Full
Profile Ned
Ned
watches Sue pass him in the aisle. His head turns impossibly around.
(creaking noise)
Ned:
I hope so?
Full
Class
Mr.
Fork strides to the front of the room.
Mr.
Fork: All right youngsters. As you all know, this is our last class
before our...
Full
Fork
Fork
spins on his heel into an absurdly contemptuous and sarcastic pose
with flashing air quotes.
Fork:
...Hhhhaawwliddaaaaayyyy break. (bad ventriloquist girly speaking)
'Christmas' (fake scolding) Who said that?! Naughty.
And
so this is a great opportunity for us to discuss....
Fork
walks up to the smart board and writes...
Fork:
..di...ver...si...teeeezz...
Fork
turns, squinting.
Fork:
WHO. Who. Can tell me what – or... (eyebrows up theatrically)
whom? - is a di-ver-si-teee?
Full
Excited Kid
Excited
Kid practically leaps from his seat with his hand up and blurts out:
Excited
Kid: It's like when you tell someone 'look! A bat!' so you can run
away from them and they're like 'whuuUUUT?' but you ran away.
Medium
Fork
Fork
has zero reaction to this and continues...
Fork:
A diversity is a person whom is different but whom we must treat
like they are not. Diversities are good people to know, because if
we are able to make them feel OK about being unusual, it makes us
more prepared for college, where almost everyone is a diversity.
Plus you might find yourself in a place where everything around you
is weird and people will think that it is YOU whom is the diversity,
and it would be good to tell those people that when you met
diversities in your world you treated them nice.
Full
of Student
Student:
How do we know who -
Fork
(offscreen): whom
Student:
-whom a diversity is? Do they look like normal people?
Behind
Students
Fork:
ah HA. They can look like
normal people. But not always. But sometimes. In fact – believe it
or not – we have a diversity right, here, in this, room!
2
Shot of 2 Students
2
Students eye each other very suspiciously. Class mumbles.
Full
Ned
Ned
looks as befuddled as everyone else.
Fork
(offscreen): Why, it's Ned, of course!
Ned:
What!?! No! What? I'm just regular!
CU
Fork
Fork:
Oh, Ned. It's cool! These days diversities are in! I think the class
really wants to understand you. They probably have never met someone
who doesn't celebrate – um – the thing that happens on December
25th...?
Wide
Class with Ned in Center
Students
in unison: YOU DON'T CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS?!?!??!?
One
student (on the verge of tears): why?
CU
Fork
Looks
up to corner, points at students.
Fork:
They said it!
OS
Fork
Security
cam looks from him to students.
CU
Fork
Fork
(back to students): Talk about di-VERSE! (Makes very theatrical
“WOW” face to kids.) Now students – I for one can't imagine
the loneliness of being the only
boy in town who doesn't celebrate– what you kids said. So now is
the time to make Ned feel OK about being different. Ned -
CU
Ned
Fork
(offscreen): - would you like to share with the class your
perspectives and feelings?
Ned
(freaked out): Not really, please.
Fork:
What about for extra credit? You need it.
Ned:
I don't want to, please.
Wide
Class, Behind Fork
Fork:
All righty – we'll open it up to questions.
Ned:
Can we talk about atoms?
Fork:
Who wants to ask Ned something?
Every
hand shoots up simultaneously.
Full
Cindy
Fork:
Cindy?
Cindy:
How come your Mom and Dad don't make you celebrate Chri -
Fork:
CINDY.
Cindy:
- that day?
Full
Slightly Above Ned
Ned:
Well, they didn't celebrate it first before I was even born.
Class
gasps
Questions
start coming fast and overlapping – Ned is spinning around as he
faces each questioner. When kids ask, they lean in from behind Ned
and from off screen.
Kid:
Don't you get any presents?
Ned:
No
Kids:
Ohhhh (pitying sound)
Kid:
Did you ever wish that Santa would make your parents celebrate it?
Kid:
If Santa gave you a present would you keep it?
Kid:
Do you just leave your tree blank?
Kid:
What do you do while every other kid is having the best day in the
whole universe?
Kid:
Do you have to come to school tomorrow?
Ned:
I don't know I don't know I don't KNOW I DON'T KNOW!!
CU
Girl
A
very confused and sorrowful girl: But isn't being different
terribly, miserably, desperately, lonely?
CU
Ned
Ned
is dumbstruck and taken aback.
Fork
(offscreen): AAAAAAAAALLLLLLLALALALALA-righty little ones. Obviously
Ned has to stop and reflect on your questions and probably about the
direction of his life overall.
Full
Fork
Fork:
I think deep down inside we've helped Ned see that we care about him
and want him – and all his fellow diversities – to feel welcome
in our world. And who knows? Maybe the magic of the season will
tinkle upon his heart and melt it down into the pot that we are in
as one.
CU
Ned
Ned
looks stunned.
Cindy
(offscreen): We love you Ned!
The
class applauds and an arm leans in and pats him on the shoulder.
Behind
Fork
Fork:
Oooh! Look at the time! Kids, I have a personal tradition that I
love.
CU
Fork
Fork:
It's a song I've sung with every one
of my classes every year
at this joyous time. But. I've been told that it's not secular
enough. Who can tell me what secular means?
Full
of Excited Kid
Excited
Kid: Naughty?
CU
Fork
Thinks
about it for a second – looking toward security cam.
Fork:
Sort of but no. Secular literally means “ungodly”. So they're
saying
CU
Security Cam
Fork:
that the song has too much God content. So I
say
Trucking
Behind Fork Down Aisle Up to CU Ned
Fork
walks slowly with an air horn behind his back (so in camera).
Fork:
we can still sing the song with a little creative editing. And our
honorary editor will be – Neddo!
Ned
is destroyed.
Ned:
Please? No?
OS
Ned
Fork:
It's simple, Ned. Just press this button here whenever we come to an
unsecular word in the song. Goody?
OS
Fork
Ned:
I......I just really think there's something very wrong about this.
Fork:
NED. (Leans in fast and very close.) This...this song is...it's just
so, so, so important to me. Tradition? You know? I wish I could
explain. But they're watching me, Ned, watching me so close. (eyes
dart toward camera)
Quick
Cutaway to Camera
ECU
Fork
Fork:
I can't... stand the
thought of a year without this song. But they want to stop me. You
can help me, Ned. Buddy. Please help. You don't want me to get fired
do you Ned? Or maybe even put in jail? *
extremely tense whisper * Will you save my Christmas?
OS
Fork
Ned is scared. Gets
out a tiny nod and the “mm” part of “mm-hm”.
Wide
Classroom
Fork: YES!!!
Chriss(OOPS!)ollliday is saved!
(runs like a dork to
the front of the class and pulls a standing bass out from a flag pole
that impossibly hid it.)
OK little elves –
very softly now. SHHH.
(pops the first note
very loudly)
Ned
and Surrounding Students
Kids: Silent
night... Ho-
Ned blasts the
incredibly loud air horn and the other kids jump out of their seats.
OS
Ned
Kids turn and glare
at Ned. Class gasps and buzzes.
Fork plays eighth
notes on to spur the song on.
Fork: Don't stop
kids, we're gonna make this work. Be brave for teacher.
“NNNNIIII....”
Med
Ned
Kids quietly and
reluctantly start to sing again. Ned mimes “it's not my fault” to
other kids.
Kids behind him
glare at him.
Kids: “...night.
All is calm.”
CU
Fork
Fork (overcome with
emotion): “All is bright”
CU
Ned
Ned painfully
prepares the air horn.
Kids: “Round yon
v---
Ned blows the horn –
BBWWAAAAAAHHHH!!!!
OS
Ned
Kid in front of Ned
knocks desk and tumbles forward.
2
Shot – Ned and Neighboring Girl
Girl is miming 'no
no no please don't!' and shaking like crazy.
Ned mimes 'teacher
told me to!'
Kids: “Mother and
child... Ho-”
Ned blasts the horn
and the girl looks as if she's electrocuted then passes out.
Sounds of kids
whimpering begins.
Camera
Shifts to Right
Boy on Ned's other
side is also shaking but with crazed murderous rage. He's about to
hit Ned with his book. Ned is still looking regretfully at passed out
girl.
Kids: “infant so”
Fork: “SO”
Kid looks over to
Fork.
CU
Fork
Fork (with angry
expression directed at book kid): “TENDER AND MILD!!”
Previous
Shot
Kid lowers book with
“aww shucks” attitude.
Kids: “Sleep in
hea-”
Ned blows the horn –
BBWWAAAAAAHHHH!!!!
Book kid throws book
into the air and knocks himself out with it.
Kids:
“peee-eeeace”.
Wide
Classroom from Above
A kid runs wildly
out the door just before horn, knocking over his desk.
Kids: “slee-eep
in he-”
Ned blows the horn –
BBWWAAAAAAHHHH!!!!
Kids: “peeeace”.
Full
Fork
Way into it, he
plays (badly) a coda.
Some kids are
weeping and moaning.
Fork: Excellent
job, kids! And well done, Ned. I think we can safely say that
secularity has been preserved and nobody needs to get fired.
Fork glances at
camera.
CU
Camera
Camera looks down
inscrutably.
The bell rings.
Full
Fork
Fork acts like a
child in celebration.
Fork:
Yyyyyaaaaaayyy! Everyone have a very merry HOLY-day break!
Wide
Classroom, Above
Students scramble
for the door, knocking everything over. Fork plays “Greensleeves”
on the bass super fast.
Scene 3
Outside
School
Ned starts down the
stairs of the school. About 2/3 of the way down, a voice calls.
Kid: Hey, Ned!
Ned looks toward
voice.
Kid: This is for
making Brianna tinkle her tights! BWAAAHHH! (imitation of air horn)
Ned is hit in the
face with a snowball.
More snowballs hit
him as he ducks and dodges, each accompanied by a BWAAAHHH!
Ned: Hey! Cut it
out! It's not my fault – Mr. Fork made me do it!
OS
Sue
Sue: Ned?
Ned looks up the
stairs to Sue then stands completely still and ignores snowballs that
hit him.
Ned: (awkwardly and
strangely intoned) I am Ned. (thwump)
Full
Sue
Sue: So I was going
to invite you to my Christmas party tonight, but I didn't realize
that you hate Jesus.
Med
Ned
Ned: What? No!
(thwump) I don't hate anyone! Jesus seems like a cool guy – at
least what I've seen on TV. (thwump) I like the baby version a lot!
Plus you like him, so, yeah, he must be awesome! (thwump) I mean
he's pretty popular, right? So, yay Jesus!
Med
Sue
Sue: Cool! But so
why don't you worship Christmas?
CU Ned
Ned thinks for a
minute.
Ned: I'm not sure
why. My family's just different, I guess. My (thwump) parents say
that I'll understand when I'm older and I can decide things for
myself.
OS
Ned
Sue: How long ago
did they say that?
Ned: I think... two
years ago?
Sue: Well then you
are older now! So you can decide to worship Christmas with me and
every other kid in the world!
OS
Sue
Ned: I think they
mean when I'm super old and I can drive a car and stuff.
Sue: Oh.
An awkward silence
goes on for a while.
OS
Ned
Silence continues.
CU
Ned
(thwump)
Ned: Sooooo... I'm
not sure if I'm invited to your party or not.
Full
Sue
Sue: Oh. Well, I
think you'll have to decide. If you want to come, there's one thing
you have to do. My mom has this thing where everyone needs to bring
a present for Jesus to the party. She picks the one she thinks is
best and that kid gets this chocolate Santa that's like this big.
I thought maybe that would be weird for you because of your
diversity.
CU
Ned
Ned thinks.
Ned: I mean, are
you saying that I have to go on a journey of discovery (thwump) to
find the true meaning of Christmas (thwump) so I can know in my
heart (thwump) what the perfect gift would be?
Med
Sue
Sue: Only if you
really want the chocolate Santa. Otherwise just get a gift card or
something.
CU
Ned
Ned: Well I have no
idea what to get, but if I do this I want to do it right. I'll just
have to look into my soul, I guess.
Full
Sue
Sue: OK, but don't
look in your soul for too long because a lot of stores close early.
It really doesn't have to be perfect – just wrapped.
She turns to leave.
CU
Ned
Ned: (to himself)
It will be perfect. It's got to be. (thwump)
OS
Ned
Sue: What?
Ned: (yells) Oh!
Um. Thank you for me being invited! (to himself) Guh..
Sue: I know! It's
freezing! Bye!
CU
Ned
Ned (to himself):
What? (yells) Bye!
Ned waves.
OS
Snowball
Camera flies with
snowball toward Ned's head.
ECU
Hand
Ned's waving hand
grasps ball out of the air in slow motion, stopping it just next to
his eye. His eye pops to where the ball came from (was looking at
Sue).
Full
Ned
Ned suddenly does a
crazy karate wind up and flings the ball back.
OS Snowball
Camera flies with
snowball towards an inflatable snowman decoration.
Full
Snowman
The snowball
punctures the snowman, causing it to fly into the exact duplicate of
it in the next yard over. The carrot nose pops the next one's rear.
This happens 5 times. Camera flies with them until the 5 kids are
tackled by one each and attacked as they deflate with the pbbb sound.
Scene 4
Wide
Ned
Camera trucks with
Ned in profile as he walks up hill. People and cars slide by downhill
on the ice. Ned pauses at a house window and looks in.
OS
Ned
In the house, kids
watch a TV show which shows a defective toy being mocked by other
toys.
Wide
Ned
Ned (and camera)
continue uphill and pass two snowmen (made of snow this time). Just
as they are about to leave screen they both hop apart into 6
snowballs with legs and follow Ned.
Med
Ned
Ned walks to camera.
Sensing that he's being followed, he turns and sees the snowballs
nearing.
ECU
Ned
Ned: (to himself)
Those candy cane kids! (gulps) Hey!
Full
Ned
Ned: You kids leave
me alone! I was just trying to help out that guy you were bullying!
The lead snowball
walks into frame and mumbles.
Wide
Ned and Snowballs
A frantic chase
ensues as they all run at full speed but essentially slide in place,
slipping now and then. (a few cuts of feet, Ned's face, etc.)
CU
Ned
Ned searches for
some escape route, then sees something.
Above
Ned
A tire store has a
rotating tire sign on a pole that's been decked out with lights along
the tread. A string of white lights connects down to a plug on the
ground.
Wide
Ned and Snowballs
Ned doubles his
efforts and pulls ahead to the tire sign.
CU
Ned
Ned reaches camera
and gives a hard yank on the white string of lights which hang in the
foreground.
Wide
The tire sign tips
over and falls to the street on its flat side between Ned and the
snowballs.
“OS”
Tire
Ned runs up to the
tire, grabs the end of one of the colored strings of lights, and
yanks it hard, causing the tire to spin on the ice and slide
downhill.
Full
Snowballs
Snowballs turn and
run in place as the spinning tire approaches slowly like a saw mill
blade.
“OS”
Tire
As the tire touches
each kid, they go flying off downhill.
Wide
In the foreground,
one of the snowballs' legs struggle – wearing colorful striped
boots. In the background, Ned turns and walks briskly uphill.
Scene 5
Wide,
Storefront
Ned, looking back,
enters frame in front of a shop called “We Three Things”. He
looks up at the sign.
OS
Ned
The sign reads “The
Only Biblically Correct Gift Shop in Town!”
Med
Ned
Ned looks confused
but curious, goes in.
Inside
Store Towards Ned
Ned stares down an
aisle that only has small boxes on all the shelves.
CU Ned
Camera trucks with
Ned as he walks down the aisle looking confused. He leans for a
closer look at the boxes.
ECU
Ned's Finger
Continuing down the
aisle, Ned's finger goes along the boxes, stopping over each type of
box. The boxes are plain except for the store name and a “G”,
“M”, or “F” in ornate shimmering lettering.
POV
Mystery Person
A deep quiet voice
goes “rrrr” as the camera observes Ned from behind, down the
aisle. Ned walks on away from camera and turns corner for the next
aisle. Observer/camera follows quickly.
Wide
Ned
Ned emerges into the
next, narrower, aisle, and casually walks and pulls a box off and
examines it.
POV
Mystery Person
Camera/observer
turns the corner into Ned's aisle. More growling.
CU
Ned
Ned shakes the box,
drops it.
POV
Mystery Person
Observer nears.
CU
Ned
Ned bends down out
of frame to pick up the box.
POV
Mystery Person
Observer arrives to
stand over Ned. His shadow covers him.
CU
Ned
Ned, suddenly
covered in shadow, turns quickly and looks up.
POV
Ned (shin level to observer)
Towering over Ned is
Frankenstein with a Santa hat and beard. He leans down with arms
outstretched.
Frankenstein: Can I
help you? (In typical growly voice)
Frankenstein leans
toward camera (Ned)
POV
Frankenstein
Ned screams bloody
murder and backs away on all fours.
2
Shot – Profile
Frankenstein is
kneeling in front of Ned
Frankenstein:
Whoawhoawhoawhoa! Take it easy, son! It's just a costume! I didn't
mean to scare you so bad!
Ned: W-w-w-why are
you dressed up like Frankenstein!?!?
OS
Ned
Frankenstein:
(proudly) Not Frankenstein. FrankenSanta!
(points at hat and tugs beard)
CU
Ned
(beat)
(beat)
Ned: What?
2
Shot – Profile
Frankenstein:
FrankenSanta! Frankenstein plus Santa makes FrankenSanta! And
FrankenSanta because I sell Frankincense! (picks box up off floor
and shakes it) Ah?
OS
Frankenstein
Ned: (incredulous
but still freaked out) Clever.
Med
Frankenstein
Frankenstein rises
up into frame.
Frankenstein: So!
Cash or charge? Would you like it wrapped?
Med
Ned
Ned rises up into
frame.
Ned: Oh. Um, well.
Do you think Jesus would like that Frankenstense stuff?
CU
Frankenstein
Frankenstein: No
doubt about it! That's exactly what he got for his first birthday.
The three kings of the East came following a star and gave him
Frankincense, Gold, and Myrrh. And so that's all I sell. The only
gifts mentioned in the bible, and so the only gifts anyone should
ever give anyone! But – hey – why do you want to know if Jesus
liked Frankincense? What about the person you're shopping for? Maybe
they like Myrrh better.
OS
Frankenstein
Ned: Well, Jesus is
the person I'm shopping for. I'm supposed to buy Jesus a birthday
present so I can go to a party and make a girl like me. ….Also
maybe win a chocolate Santa.
CU
Frankenstein
Frankenstein:
(astounded, thinks for a moment) You know I'm not 100% sure
that that is blasphemous, but I think it is. I'm going to pray for
you as you leave my store forever.
CU
Ned
Ned: What? Why?
2
Shot – Profile
Frankenstein
“escorts” Ned to the exit.
Frankenstein: Son,
Jesus is not a tool for you to win a girl's heart. Don't buy a gift
for Jesus if it's not in your heart.
Outside Store
Frankenstein gently
shoves Ned out. Ned turns.
Ned: But I don't
worship Christmas!
OS
Ned
Frankenstein:
Lovely! Then I don't have to be a big phony and wish you a Merry
Christmas!
Door closes.
CU
Ned
Ned looks anguished
but also irked. After a long pause:
Ned: Do you sell
gift cards?!?
Scene 6
Outside,
Street
Ned starts walking
up the street dejectedly. He pauses to look into a house window and
looks in.
OS
Ned
Ned sees kids
watching a TV show with a group of reindeer teasing another one with
red antlers.
Full
Ned
Ned continues uphill
but hears something and pauses. Footsteps in crunching snow can be
heard behind briefly but stop.
He takes some more
steps with an odd rhythm and stops. The feet behind him copy. This
happens twice more.
CU
Ned
Ned looks back.
CU
Boots
The rainbow boots
step through frame.
Full
Ned
Ned runs offscreen
Wide
Ned and Kids
Once again a chase
ensues with nobody making much traction.
OS
Ned
Ned runs – 6
shadows chase him. He searches around for a means of escape and finds
one.
OS
Ned
Ned sees a roof
decoration of a Santa sled and reindeer.
Full
Ned
Ned makes a
snowball, winds up, throws it, and ends in a somersault, comes up
throwing another snowball, 6 times, ends standing in a post-throw
pose.
Full Roof
Decoration
Each snowball hits a
reindeer and makes it slide down the roof.
Wide
Street
Ned double times it
off screen. Just as he leaves the shot, the kids come into frame one
by one and are carried away by a reindeer.
Full
Ned
Ned runs up to
camera and turns to look.
ECU
Boots
Camera flies along
with Striped Boots and then stops, showing the 6 kids sliding
downhill on reindeer (seated backwards).
Wide
Street
Ned turns and
continues on.
Scene 7
Wide
Street
Ned walks past a gym
door. Muffled club music comes from inside. As he passes, the door
opens and a buff Santa jumps out.
OS
Ned
SuperSanta: Yo, yo,
yo little bro, bro, bro!
Ned spins around,
startled.
OS
SuperSanta
Ned: What are you
supposed to be?
OS
Ned
SuperSanta: You may
call me SuperSanta!
Ned: I thought
Santa was fat.
SuperSanta: Right!
That's the problem! Regular lard-butt Santa makes everyone think
that it's cool to eat like a fat disgusting pig and be all jolly
about it. Well there's nothing jolly about morbid obesity! No wonder
it takes 8 reindeer to lug his nasty red butt around the world.
Maybe if he layed off the fudge he'd only need 4. I say let's drop
Mr. Flab and start workin' them abs!
CU
Ned
Ned: Wow. You're
pretty worked up about it.
Med
SuperSanta
Supersanta
(flexing): NNNN! WORKED! UP!
CU
Ned
Ned: ?
CU
SuperSanta
SuperSanta: Listen.
Forget about that slob. I saw you running from those dudes like a
little weasel. I know you're ashamed of yourself, so I wanna pump up
your Christmas spirit with this.
SuperSanta pulls a
piece of paper from behind his beard and hands it to Ned.
CU
Ned
Ned accepts the
paper and looks at it.
SuperSanta: This
special invitation -
Ned: It's a coupon.
SuperSanta: -
special invitation is a gift of a long, buff life of not
getting smacked around like a wet sloth. Merry Christmas.
Ned: Thanks, but, I
don't celebrate Christmas. But this girl I like wants me to get a
present for Jesus so I can go to her party. You think Jesus would
like a discounted gym membership? In the paintings he looks pretty
skinny.
CU
SuperSanta
SuperSanta:
Totally! Of course, I'm not gonna charge God to work out in my
gym. I'm pretty sure that would be a sin, right? So on second
thought, maybe he doesn't need the coupon. But seriously think about
that special offer. You're not gonna get that honey without at least
getting toned. Just sayin'
CU
Ned
Ned sighs.
Ned: Thanks but I
better go. All the stores are closing and I still have no idea what
to get Jesus.
Ned walks away
uphill.
Full
SuperSanta
SuperSanta: Later!
SuperSanta looks
towards where Ned came from.
SuperSanta: Work on
your core, though, 'cause those other little dudes are coming your
way again!
Scene 8
OS
Ned
Shadows approach.
Ned: Oh, come on.
Ned turns and runs.
Wide
Street
The slippery chase
starts again. The kids draw closer. Next to the gym is a Christmas
tree lot.
Full
Ned
Ned sees something
in the lot.
CU
Angels
Camera zooms in on
angel decorations on the tops of some trees.
Full
Ned
Ned fires off 6
snowballs.
Med
Angels
Each tree top is hit
by a snowball, causing them to bend and launch the angels forward.
Camera pans with the last one to show their trajectory.
Flying
Camera
Camera flies along
with the angels in formation (with a celestial “aaaah” sound) as
they approach the kids.
OS
Kids
The angels approach.
OS
Angels
Camera follows
angels into kids, who are turning to run.
OS
Ned
The angels swoop
down and carry the kids away.
Full
Ned
Ned: Now QUIT
CHASING ME!!
Ned hears slow
clapping and turns to look.
Scene 9
Full
Skinny
A skinny man –
similar to Matthew McConahey(?) emerges from behind a tree. He has a
Santa trucker hat, shirt with a Santa suit print, and red Dickies.
Skinny: Yer pretty
handy with a snowball, son. 'Course I'm gonna need ya to imburse me
for them angels you sent flyin' off.
OS
Skinny
Ned: Um...
Med
Skinny
Skinny: Naw I'm
just funnin' wit ya. They'da been flyin' off ta the dump in a couple
minutes anyhow. Consider 'em Santa's little extra sock stuffins for
ya.
Med
Ned
Ned (disbelieving
deadpan): You're Santa.
Med
Skinny
Skinny: (blink)
'sraht.
Med
Ned
Ned: It's just your
accent. It's not all that – North Pole-ish
Med
Skinny
Skinny: Polish?
(blink) Oh, Pole! Raht. (blink) Global warmin' ya see. Meltin' ice
and so on. Buncha elves drowned. Sad. Me and the missus had to pack
it on up and set up shop at the South... Pole.
(gets a crazy look)
Skinny (to tune of
Dixie): “Ohhhhhhhhwwway down South in the land of penguin”
EEEEE-HEE-HE-HE!!
CU
Ned
Ned goes from
surprise to smile.
Full
Skinny
Skinny (to self):
'land of penguin' heh-heh.
(to Ned): All right
then, snowball, time for me to shut this gold mine down and do some
flyin' of my own. Ya need a ride on Santa's sleigh there?
Skinny gestures to
snowmobile behind him.
Full
Ned
Ned: Thanks, but I
still gotta get Jesus a present so I can go to my dream girl's
party.
CU
Skinny
Skinny: (blink)
Well now I think that's just beautiful. (blink) I reckon all the
shops is closed so yer gonna have to go the hand-made road. (thinks)
(snaps finger) Yer soul. I have it on good authority that Jesus has
a powerful love for folks' souls. Problem solved. Soul. Hallelujah.
CU
Ned
Ned (sighs): I
think my parents would not be happy about that.
Full
Skinny
Gets on snowmobile.
Skinny: Rriiight.
Young folks got parents. Yup, you mind them good now. Whelp. Ya got
me beat. If Santa hisself cain't think up a present for Jesus, ain't
nobody can. I tell you what – tell this gal of yours that Santa
says ta bend her party rules else it's not to late to put her on
that nasty list. Ho ho!
Does a fishtailing
peel out and heads off.
Fade
Out
Scene 10
Fade
in - Wide Street
Truck with Ned as he
trudges uphill.
OS
Ned
He pauses in front
of a house window and looks in.
Full
of TV
Kids watch a TV show
showing a group of kids mocking a kid who has a pathetic looking palm
tree decorated.
Wide
Street
Ned turns into the
sidewalk leading to his plain house. He bends down to pick up a
potted cactus that had fallen over.
OS
Ned
The 6 kids rise up
from behind hedges in Ned's yard. Ned rises up into frame.
CU
Ned
Ned looks up from
cactus, sees kids, reacts, looks around, freezes.
Ned (getting mad):
All right. Let's finish this.
“OS”
Rainbow Boots
Ned squats down to
make a snowball.
Navdi: No! Please!
No more snowballs! There has been a terrible misunderstanding!
CU
Ned
Ned: No I
understand! You jingle bullies want revenge because I saved that kid
from your candy cane fight!
Full
Navdi
Navdi: No!
He steps forward and
lowers his hood, showing Sikh turban.
Navdi: I am
the boy you rescued.
CU
Ned
Ned is uncertain.
Ned: You don't want
to poke me with oversized candy canes?
Med
Navdi
Navdi: If I had a
large piece of candy I would prefer to eat it than use it for evil.
Med
Ned
Ned relaxes a bit
more.
Ned: So why have
you and – whoever they are – been chasing me all over town?
Full
Navdi
Navdi: First of
all, because I wanted to thank you. But more importantly, to let you
know that you are not alone.
Truck
Past Kids
Each of the 5
remaining kids steps forward and lowers their hoods.
Navdi: We all come
from families who – for many different reasons – do not
celebrate Christmas.
CU
Ned
Ned is touched and
relaxes fully.
Navdi (offscreen):
We know how it can feel like the whole world is sharing in a special
moment that we can only watch from outside.
CU
Navdi
Navdi: So every
year on Christmas Eve we come together and share each others'
company and celebrate in our own way. We've been trying to tell you
that if you would like to
CU
Ned
Navdi (offscreen):
join us you would be most welcome.
Slow zoom in as Ned
absorbs this.
Sue (offscreen):
But Ned's already coming to my party
Ned's head swings to
Sue's voice.
Camera
Pans Quickly to Full Sue
Sue: aren't you,
Ned?
Camera
Pans Quickly Back to CU Ned
Ned is completely
stuck.
Ned (whispers):
Sue.
Full
Navdi
Navdi: Ohhh! I'm
sorry. I didn't realize you already had plans. Perhaps you can join
us next year, Ned.
Navdi's group starts
to leave.
CU Ned
Ned is confused,
torn.
Ned: Wait!
Full of Navdi
Navdi stops. The
rest of the group pause to look back but resume walking away.
CU
Ned
Ned is frozen. An
awkward silence.
CU
Sue
Sue is troubled.
Sue: Ned, I hate to
pressure you, but the party's about to start and I need to be there.
I'd love for you to come. I'm dying to see what present you bought
for Jesus.
CU
Ned
Ned (whispers):
present. (out loud) Present!
OS
Sue
Ned: I – Sue –
I – gosh – I want to go to the party but – I don't have a
present. So – I mean – I can't – I guess. Right?
OS
Ned
Sue: Oh. (pause)
Really? I – I'm disappointed. I really thought you'd want to come.
I thought maybe you'd have a good time and – I don't know –
maybe want to fit in. I um - we all like you.
CU
Ned
Ned: But... I did
try! I didn't think it would be so hard to think of a present. I
think what happened – well, I think I would need to really
understand Christmas and all the beliefs that go with it. I mean
CU
Sue
Sue goes from
crushed to a little more understanding.
Ned (offscreen): I
know what it is from TV and movies and all that, but I guess that's
not enough.
CU
Ned
Ned: When it comes
down to it, Christmas is just not – inside me.
CU
Navdi
Navdi smiles in
understanding then looks to Sue.
CU
Sue
Sue thinks for a
moment.
Sue: Wow. (another
pause then looks up) It's hard for me to understand why anyone would
want to miss out on the most awesome thing in the whole universe.
But I guess I can respect your diversity. That's important.
CU
Navdi
Navdi nods.
Med
Ned
Ned: Thanks.
Full
Sue
Sue: Goodbye Ned.
She turns to leave.
CU
Ned
Ned looks from Sue
to Navdi.
Med
Navdi
Navdi tosses his
head “let's go” and starts walking.
OS
Sue
Ned and Navdi start
walking away – Ned looking back at Sue.
Sue has a
realization and turns.
Sue: Hey!
2
Shot Ned and Navdi
Ned turns.
Ned: I knew it!
You're going to invite all of us to your party anyway!
Full
Sue
Sue: No?
CU
Ned
Ned: Oh.
OS
Sue
Sue: What about New
Year's?
Ned: Huh?
OS
Ned
Sue: Do you
celebrate it?
Ned: New Year's?
Sure.
OS Sue
Sue: Cool! Wanna go
to my New Year's Party?
CU
Ned
Pause.
Ned (deadpan):
absolutely.
OS
Sue
Sue: Cool! See you
there!
She turns toward
camera and jogs away.
2
Shot Ned and Navdi
Pause
Ned raises his hands
to heaven.
Ned: Hallelujah!
Pause
Navdi: Come, Ned.
The others will be waiting at my uncle's restaurant.
Scene 11
Interior
Indian Restaurant
Ned and Navdi fling
open doors to a big song and dance number: “Indian Food for
Christmas”.
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